It's funny because it's true. This one's gonna be stuck in my head for a few days. I just know it. And that's ok.

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike.

The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

The kid says, "Yeah."

The cop says...

Here's a few more fun ways to tell if you have a drinking problem... Does this sound like you?

• You failed CPR class because your breath set the dummy on fire.
  
• You’re having a little trouble reading this because the bar’s lighting sucks and you’re kinda loaded.
  
• You called the cops on yourself but refused to testify because you “didn’t want to get involved."
  
• You employ a booze-based monetary system, e.g.: “I’d loan you the money but all I have is a liter of Evan Williams and a twelver of Hamm’s in the bank.”
  
• You seem to think you can restore that...