Is this you? If so, we wanna party with you.

• You drank so much beer last night you single-handedly wore out a fresh urinal cake.
  
• You don’t have to imagine what a spilled gin and tonic sucked from a shag rug tastes like.
  
• You’re not sure when Mary Ann snuck out your apartment last night, but you figure it was about the same time Mrs...

Here's a few more ways to tell you have a drinking problem!

• Your favorite dive is so dark you can’t tell when you’re blacked out.
• Some bastard always manages to slip a Mickey Finn in your 30th drink.
• You don’t call them birthdays, you call them "a-free-shot-at-every-bar-I-can-reach-in-the-next-24 hours-days."
• Your plan to move to New Orleans during hurricane season is based entirely upon the possibility of getting "trapped" in a bar...

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We've given you a bunch of the warning signs. Here's a few more ways to tell you've got a drinking problem.

You’ve invented a Sesame Street drinking game so you can spend more time with your kids.
You start your morning by reaching to the night stand, picking up your phone, pressing re-dial, and apologizing to whoever answers.
You regularly shout constructive criticism at the winos holding cardboard signs on street corners, e.g.: “It’s too political! You’re alienating half your demographic!”
All your finest athletic feats were executed after six or more drinks.
You want to rid...