If riding the bus doesn't incentivize you to improve your station in life, nothing will.

Hope yours goes something like this.

 When the bartender asks, you should already know what you want to drink.

 It takes a truly bold man to shave his balls with a straightedge razor.

 You don’t have to like baseball, but you should understand the concept of what a pitcher’s ERA means. Approach life similarly.

Even if it is false...

Breakfast should always be this much fun.