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November 04, 2009 6:00 AM

You've seen the warning signs. You know you have a problem. Or maybe you don't know it yet. Well, here's BarLOLz to the rescue! Look for these warning signs.

  • You’re quite good looking when you’re plastered, and you have the mug shots to prove it.
  • It's taken you an hour of yelling, a thrown drink and a fist fight to realize that you and your friend have been in total agreement all along.
  • Winos have stopped asking you for change. They just nod and give you that weird half-smile.
  • Wild Turkey 101 neat tastes watered down.
  • You have trouble speaking clearly. "Hi" comes out as "Wanna fuck?"
  • You feel that returning an unfinished keg is on par with your father watching you get your ass kicked by a mime.
  • The bouncer, who is the same gender as you (or opposite gender, if you're gay) suddenly looks really hot.
  • You sometimes misplace yourself.
  • You got lost crossing the street.
  • You sometimes like to start the morning with a hearty, “Who the fuck are you?”

If any of these sound like you, seek help immediately. We have a listing of 50,000 bars that may be able to help you quench your thirst right here.



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